When are you getting married?

Along with this question, “so…are you dating anyone?” “How old are you anyway? Don’t you want to get married?” or “Don’t you want a family?”

Word to the wise, DON’T ASK this of anyone. Ever.

Maybe the person you are asking is homely and can’t get a boyfriend or girlfriend…or maybe they just got out of a bad relationship and are still trying to heal. Maybe their life desire is to get married and have children but it just hasn’t happened for them, guess what? You have just humiliated them. Well done my friend.

I have had my fair share of this. I see family that I haven’t seen in years during holidays and I am constantly getting questioned. “Oh hita, you’re so pretty, why aren’t you married yet? Still no boyfriend?”

I don’t know that I ever want to get married. And as much as I love the kiddos, I don’t know that I want the responsibility of having my own. Sometimes it stresses me out just having to find someone to watch my furry little loveable black dog for a weekend.

Bottom line is this: It’s none of your business. I don’t ask why you are still married to your unattractive husband or why your kids are so misbehaved. And why? Because it’s rude.

Lesson learned I hope. :)

The things you should NEVER say and the questions you should NEVER ask.

I have been observing a common theme throughout the last few years. 

People are nosy. Has anyone else noticed that?

Now, don;t get me wrong, I like to know things. I will investigate and for lack of a better word, stalk things out to find out what’s going on. It’s my gift. But I do know when the line has been crossed. Usually.

Over the next few days I want to take some time to explore the things that have been asked of me recently and why I think it’s just better if you don’t. Some of you may agree with me, some of you may feel guilty and others of you might not understand what the heck I mean.

Whichever camp you fall in, rest assured, I speak truth. And someone has got to do it.

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."
- John Lennon

Temporary Friends?

It’s incredible how a move from one state to another really shows you the people who are constants in your life. Some people that I thought were my closest friends have completely disappeared. And then there are a few who I never imagined I would speak to again who have become my constants in life.

We all handle change differently. For some, it’s out of sight out of mind, while for others, absence makes the heart grow fonder. We all go our own way and grow in our own ways. And I am thankful that my life crossed all the friends I have made. You have all taught me something about life or love. You have all been a part of my life for a reason and a purpose and a time.

As I get older and more set in my ways, I realize that I am less about seeking out a large number of new friendships. In my maturity (hopefully) I realize that it isn’t possible to be a good friend to a great multitude of people…or to do it successfully. I want to invest my time into the people who I know I can trust…and who know that they can trust me. The ones who have seen my tears, cared for me through my mistakes and have rejoiced for me in my success…and I for them. 

I find that the right people seem to come along in my life at just the right time. And perhaps that means that they also leave in just the right time.

And the ones who have stuck it out for all these years? I treasure you more than you can imagine and I would do just about anything for you.

Why Miley Cyrus is a Genius

In case you have been living under a rock and missed the scandalous and much talked about performance by Miley Cyrus at the VMA’s, click here.

I will admit it, my reaction was shock and disgust. Put your freaking tongue back in your mouth, Miley!! You look like a dog foaming at the mouth!!

Ok, now that my shock has died down and I have read Miley’s teaser interview with MTV, I have to admit, the girl is right.

Stop over thinking it.

MIley is right, this isn’t the first time something disgusting or filthy has crossed a performance by a celebrity. Happens all the time. Lady Gaga has worn penis shoes, Madonna kissed Britney and Christina, Janet Jackson showed her nipple.

We like to be shocked and awed. Admit it. We like to have a candy stick to talk about, a soapbox to stand on, a sad tale about how fame turns people into sinful, sadistic, horrible individuals. You want to worry about your kids seeing this and that’s fine. Your kids probably shouldn’t be watching the VMA’s without you there anyway (or watching at all in some cases).

If you’re a parent, here’s an opportunity for you to address sexual issues with your kids (I know you’ve been waiting for the right time, and guess what, this is it!). If you are uncomfortable talking about it with them, then maybe you need to man or woman up.

Stop degrading Miley. She obviously knows what her choices were. She wanted to make history. And she’s right, people are still talking about it days later. She got exactly what she wanted. Media shock, your disgust and a LOT of publicity. She has rocketed herself higher up the fame ladder.

You don’t like her? Don’t buy her music. You think she needs a “come to Jesus” moment? Pray for her. You think she’s influenced your kids to do bad things? Have an intelligent conversation with your kids about it.

She’s no different than a lot of other stars. Celebrities were never intended to be role models. You are. Your actions and your values will govern the lives of your kids.

My office needed a little Denver and Phoenix love. My two hometowns. :) If you want the high res file (without watermark) please email me. :)